Parties and social gatherings can be great for you to meet new friends, but if your shyness prevents from being able to talk to people, then it’s gonna be hard to make friends with anyone. In this article, I want to share with you a set of effective techniques on how to overcome shyness at a party or social get together. Be sure to practice these the next time you’re out。

派对和社交聚会对于你结交新朋友是非常好的，但是你的羞涩若有碍你去同他们交谈，那么要和他们交朋友也就难了。在这篇短文里，我想和你分享一套有效的技巧，如何在派对和社交聚会上克服羞涩。下次出门时记得要实践。

1. Focus Outside To Stop Crippling Thoughts

关注外界，消除无益想法

Negative thoughts are at the root of the problem, so the only way to stop dwelling on them is to replace them by something else. That’s why it’s a great way to focus outside of yourself, rather than run negative thoughts over and over。

消极想法是问题的根源，所以根除的唯一方法是用其它想法取代它们。这就是这种好方法的原因，关注外部世界，而不是让消极的想法在脑子里时不时地浮现。

If you want to get out of your head, you can ask yourself questions that will get your mind to focus outwardly. Try asking yourself things like: “What’s interesting here?” or “What do I find interesting in this place?”

如果你想消除那些想法，你可以问自己一些使大脑关注外界的问题。不妨这样问自己：“这里面什么是有趣的?”或者“我能从中找到什么有趣的吗?”

2. Don’t Face The Crowd

不要面对人群

If you get shy, a better way to feel good is to avoid staying up and facing the most crowded place. Instead, try to stand so you’re facing a less crowded part of the room。

如果你害羞，一种能让你感觉良好的更好的方法是避免站在最拥挤的人群里面对他们。试着站在人员稍微稀少的地方。

Since shyness results in over-stimulation of your brain, you need to give yourself less things to focus on. This will inevitably calm you, even if you’re in a very crowded place. As soon as you’re not really paying attention to the crowd, you don’t really feel the pressure。

既然羞涩会造成大脑的过度兴奋，那你需要减少关注量。即使你在人群很拥挤的地方，这一定会让你冷静下来。一旦你不去关注人群，你就感觉不到压力了。

3. “Dumb Down” Your Communication Style

简化你的沟通风格

Shyness also comes from putting too much pressure on yourself to be interesting and impressive. If you want to feel more comfortable, try a technique that most successful communicators use。

羞涩也来自你给了自己太多的压力，比如你想要给别人留下风趣和深刻的印象。如果你想更舒心，试试大多数成功沟通者在使用的技巧。

This is about talking and acting in a way that is more random, and not that intelligent. Speak as though you’re not sure of a lot of things, or as if you’re too tired to talk about serious subjects. This creates a certain comfortable energy around you, and it encourages low-key conversations. It makes people see you as a regular and open-minded person, not a snob。

这种技巧说的是言谈举止要更为随意，而不是去显摆。交谈时，要表现得自己好像对很多事都不确定，或自己不想谈论过于严肃的话题，这会给你创造一种舒适的氛围，鼓励你进行低调的谈话。别人会觉得你是一个随意开放的人，而不是一个虚伪势利的人。

4. Go Early To Make Yourself Feel At Home

早点到让自己熟悉环境

Another great way to overcome shyness at a party is to get there early and talk to anyone you find. Go early, order something, talk with the staff or the bartender. Make yourself “at home” before everyone else comes. This simple switch will make it ten times easier for you to feel comfortable throughout the night。

另一种克服羞涩的方法是早点到派对，和你看到的人聊聊天。早点到，点些吃的，同员工或酒保说说话。在其他人来之前，就让自己拥有一种在家里的自在感觉。这个简单的小把戏会非常容易让你做到在整个晚上过得舒心惬意。

As more and more folks come to join, you’ll be increasingly getting comfortable with the number of people. This is mainly because you warmed up and prepared your mood for conversation。

随着越来越多的人加入，你面对很多人也会越来越舒适。这主要是因为你做好热身，并准备好了对话的情绪状态。

5. Cheer Someone Up

鼓舞他人

Another aspect of parties that can make you shy is the idea that every one knows one another. This impression is usually false. Popular and loud people tend to get more attention, and if you focus on them, it’s easy to get that impression。

派对使你羞怯的另一方面是你会觉得每个人都知道彼此，这种观念通常来说是错的。受欢迎、嗓门大的人似乎会得到更多关注，如果你只把注意力集中到他们身上，就会很容易产生这种错误观念。

At the same time, if you notice others, you’ll see that there are people who come alone, and hope to be able to meet anyone. If they look friendly but hesitant to talk to anyone, go to them and ask a basic question, and see if they’re open to talking。

与此同时，如果你留意到了其他人，你会看到有人是单独来的，他们希望能结交到朋友。如果他们看起来很亲切但在犹豫要不要和别人聊天，那就走过去来句寒暄，看他们是不是愿意聊。

6. How to Overcome Shyness by Having a Plan-B

准备B计划

A great way to feel comfortable at a party is to avoid feeling as though you have to stay. If you’ve been invited by someone, for example, it’s good to state that you might be obligated to leave soon, because you have another thing to do. That thing can be anything, and it will make you overcome your shyness by knowing that, at least you can get out if you feel too nervous。

想要在聚会上感觉良好，就需要避免那种“我必须得待在这里” 的勉强感觉。比如说如果你已经受到他人邀请，你可以提前对主人表示你可能要早些离开，因为你还有其它事要处理。这件事可以是任何事，这能让你克服你的羞涩，因为你知道如果你感觉紧张了，至少你可以离开。