大学里，你的室友可能你们来自不同的地方，有不同的生活理念，有不同生活方式，你们互相适应得还好吗?有没有同学为如何和室友友好相处烦恼不已，会不会室友所做的有些事情令你烦恼不已，而你有不知道如何处理。今天我们就来说说在怎么解决和室友的生活冲突。

You will most likely have a least one time in your college career where your roommate will do something that either frustrates or upsets you, maybe even consistently. If you bring it up the first time it bothers you in an appropriate manner, the chances of the issue being resolved automatically increase a bunch! With that, here’s my take on how to deal with a roommate confrontation。

大学生活中，你很可能会遇到你室友所作所为令你烦恼或难过的情况，至少一次，也许甚至持续很多次。如果当这些令你不满的事情第一发生的时候你就用适当的方式提出抗议，这些冲突被解决的几率会大大增加。那么，我就来说说怎么与室友的“交锋”。

FIRST, ASK NICELY

第一招：好商好量

If you go at them like you’re going to rip their head off, it’s probably gonna end badly. The first time you catch something that is bothersome, simply ask them to do it differently. Example – “Hey, can you put your dishes in the dishwasher next time you walk in the kitchen? That would really help me out when I’m cooking later!”

如果你去和他们谈的时候气势汹汹、像是要去把人家头揪下来的架势，结果会很糟糕。烦心事第一次发生的时候，最简单的问他们能否采取其他的方式。例如，“喂，你下次进厨房的时候可不可以把你的盘子放在洗碗机里?那样的话我一会做饭的时候就方便多啦!”

DON’T TAKE FOREVER TO DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS

第二招：别让担忧无止境

Aka, don’t wait an entire semester to approach them with whatever is bothering you! It will be counterproductive to start up a new semester saying “So, last semester it drove me nuts when you never took out the trash…let’s work on that this semester。” They will undoubtedly ask you why you didn’t say something earlier。

即，不要等上整整一学期才告诉他们你有什么不满!新学期伊始，“那个，上学期你从来不到垃圾，我都要疯了，这学期改改吧。”这样只会事与愿违。他们会毫不犹豫的问你怎么不早点说。

NOW, HAVE A SIT DOWN

第三招：坐下谈谈

A calm one, at that. Just be like “Hey, can I talk to you about something really quick! It’s not a big deal, I just wanted to ask a favor of you!” Lay out exactly what you’re having a problem with and be clear in why it troubles you。

一次冷静的谈话，就这样。好比“喂，我能和你谈谈吗，很快的!也不是什么大事，我就是想问你帮个忙!”告诉他们你的不满并明确的告诉他们为什么那样会使你心烦。

AVOID GOSSIPING TO OTHERS

第四招：勿要八卦

This one is a biggie. Just avoid this, because if your roomie catches wind that you’re talking about her “bad habits” or how “annoying she is,” then I can promise you absolutely nothing will get resolved. If anything, it will only make the tension between the two of you worse。

这可是个大事儿。反正就别做，因为如果你室友捕风捉影发现你正在大谈她的“坏习惯”或是说她有多讨厌，我敢打包票什么问题都解决不了。如果能改变什么，估计只是使你们俩的关系变得更紧张、更糟糕。

OFFER UP A SOLUTION AND SAY THANK YOU

第五招：我有解决办法，谢谢你

Also very important. Don’t have a sit down without having a way to resolve the issue. If for some reason you can’t think of one, ask them for their thoughts or if there’s something you can do to help as well. Oh, and say thank you in regards to them being willing to sit down and hear you out! Thank you’s always make a big difference in the long run!

这点也很重要。如果你也没有解决办法，就别和室友坐下谈。如果由于种种原因，你也想不出解决办法，问问他们的想法，或者问问有什么你可以帮助的。哦，记得对他们愿意坐下、听你说完表示谢谢。“谢谢”从长远来看总是让事情有所不同!

HIGHLIGHT THEIR STRENGTHS

第六招：记得别人的好

It sucks to have someone sit you down and tell you something you’re doing (whether intentionally or not) is bugging them to no end. After you talk about what is upsetting you, make sure to highlight something you appreciate about them or that they’re doing right…”Thanks for keeping the living room clear of your things after you’re done studying, but is there any way you could vacuum a little more often! It’ll lessen the load for us both!”

有人叫你坐下然后喋喋不休、没完没了的告诉你你所做的事情(不论故意与否)使他们很心烦，这是件很糟糕的事情。当你叙述过了是你难过的事情，一定要强调一下你对他们所做的其他事情的欣赏与感激，或是表扬他们做的对的事情……“很感谢你在学习之后把客厅收拾得那么干净，但是有没有可能你能用吸尘器清扫得再经常一点!这样可以减轻我们俩的负担!”

IF IT CONTINUES, APPROACH THE HOUSEHOLD (IF APPLICABLE)

第七招：如果还是不行，找其他房客(如果适用)

This is only if you live with more than one person. Because if something is affecting you, then it might be affecting the rest of your household too. Have a “house meeting” instead of a roommate meeting, and follow the same steps I discussed above!

这招只能在你和多人合住的时候才有用。因为如果某些事影响你，很有可能也影响了其他房客。既然和室友说不通，取而代之，开个“房客大会”，依然可以使用上述六招!