How did you learn about the finer points of sex?

Maybe you watched that awkward sex education video that was filmed a good 20 years before your time and made sex out to be a clinical and methodical process. Some schools had in-class demonstrations of your 60-something teacher delicately peeling a condom down over a banana like some giant, yellow (and slightly curved) penis. The mere thought of that image alone is enough to remain celibate and move to a monastery in for the rest of your life! Other people found out about sex by getting stuck in to a good old fumble session in the drama studio during a free period. Whatever your story, it’s likely you had the talk from your old man at some point as well.Talking about sex can be uncomfortable, particularly for a dad with his teenage son. A sex ed talk from your father usually consists of the following:

· Wear a condom。

· Treat the girl with respect。

· Don’t rush her。

· Save yourself for the right girl。

Of course, none of this prepares us for the harsh reality of a proper sexual encounter. Our fathers have failed us in our pursuit for sexual enlightenment. With this in mind, I present to you The 10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex (But Really Should Have)。

#10 – Sex Fetishes

I really wish my father had told me what a fetish was before I started having sex. The first time a woman asked me if I was into “Formicophilia” I thought she was speaking Italian to me.It turns out she got a real sexual kick out of having bugs, insects and creepy crawlies all over her genitals and wanted to share this delightful experience with me.Apparently fetishes are a normal variation of human sexuality which range from vanilla to just plain weird. I don’t mind a bit of biting and spanking every now and again but I draw the line at inviting cockroaches to the party. Make sure you know a bit about fetishes before engaging in sex because nobody wants to find out their girlfriend has a scat fetish after the fact。

#9 – It’s not like a porno movie

Imagine my surprise when, after years of watching Jenna Jameson bounce up and down on multiple guys and screaming with pleasure, I finally lost my virginity to a shy little red head with a freckled face, glasses and braces on her teeth. I thought sex would be all about screaming, dirty orgasms and filthy talk. Not only that, I thought that every seemingly innocent situation could be initiated into impromptu sex.If my friends mum offered me a cup of tea while we waited for him to get home from work, I thought she might jump my bones any second.Alas, it never happened. As for the red head, it was less like a speeding train and more like a brisk walk. Sex is nothing like it appears in porn. (unless you happen to be dating a porn star)

#8 – Pace yourself

As a knock-on effect of the porn delusions I suffered from, I thought that going at it hammer-and-tongs for long periods of time was the norm. Those porn stars could last forever and so I was utterly disappointed when my encounter with the shy red head lasted a mere 2 minutes before I rolled over and fell asleep. If you’ve never heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, I’m sure it related to sex. Women want a stallion who can last the distance and although sometimes a quickie can be just as fun, nobody wants it to be over before it’s even begun。

#7 – Headaches are no excuse not to have sex

At 21, my girlfriend of the time regularly used to tell me she wasn’t in the mood for a bit of nookie because she ‘had a headache’. New evidence has come to light though which says that the female orgasm releases endorphins (a natural painkiller). This means that sex is a headache cure. I’d go as far as to use this to try and have sex with your girlfriend for any number of ailments. Broken leg? Sex can ease your pain, baby. Your (hot)friend has a broken heart? I’ll give her an orgasm to make her feel better. Genital herpes?Er…you’re on your own there, darling。

#6 – Threesomes are not as common as you think

A combination of porn and ‘true story’ articles in Maxim and FHM had me growing up thinking that a threesome was a natural part of everyday life and would happen regularly.After losing a couple of girlfriends through requests for their big-bosomed friend to join us for a session, I began to lose faith. Some people claim that “Ménage á trois” is actually French for “In your dreams”. While I’m sure many people have had threesomes (or more) with other women, the sad reality is that the threesomes we could have would most often involve not another woman, but another man。

#5 – Impotence is a grounds for divorce

In over 20 states in America, impotence can be cited as the grounds for a marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce. I’m sure a few wealthy businessmen who didn’t see the need for a pre-nup are now kicking themselves for their shortsightedness.It’s not enough that men have the burden of pleasuring the woman they love and rising to the occasion every time. Now we have the added pressure that if we can’t get it up and give our wife a good seeing to, she can divorce us. If you weren’t suffering from penile dysfunction before, you may well do now! I think there should be another reason for divorce created to cite women who don’t have the necessary fellatio skills to keep a man at full mast. Believe me, I’ve met a few of them。

#4 – Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm

What?My dad never told me that. All these years I’ve been performing the sexual equivalent of stuffing a turkey and I never knew it. A lot of guys don’t even think about her pleasure during sex because it’s so easy to get lost in the moment. Thinking about it from a female perspective though, it makes sense. In, out. In, out. In, out. Yeah, I can see how that might get a bit boring after a while. The key is to master the clit using your fingers, tongue and any other body part you think can do the job. One of the best positions to get her clit going is doggy style with a manual reacharound. Try it and become a stud today。

#3 – Your penis can explode

I’ve watched an entire TV documentary on sex disasters and things that go wrong during sex and it has changed the way I look at sex forever. I remember one in particular involving a Romanian man and his sexy 18 year-old girlfriend. If you’ve ever had an erection so hard you felt like it could burst, imagine how this guy felt.His erection was so hard, firm and manly that the blood cavities in the penis actually burst. Can I get an overwhelming “Ouch!” from the guys reading this?And it’s not just your penis exploding you need to worry about. There’s something a lot more common that nobody told me about until it happened to me. The dreaded ‘banjo string’. If you don’t know what the banjo string is, it’s the piece of skin between the penis and the foreskin and is officially known as the frenulum. If you’ve been circumcised congratulations, you probably haven’t even got a banjo string. If you haven’t, there is a good chance that rough sex can ’snap’ this little bit of skin and it bloody hurts.And bleeds A lot。

#2 – Only 1 in 400 men can give themselves oral sex

While it’s not surprising that only 1 man out of every 400 has the size and/or flexibility to perform fellatio on themselves, what is really embarrassing is that most of, if not all of, the 400 men have tried to give themselves oral. I find it a slap in the face to evolution that men created the wheel, flew to the moon, invented electricity and learnt to fly, yet they still attempted to suck themselves off in the bathroom. If you’re laughing while you read this, then chances are you’ve tried this yourself. If you have a smug grin on your face while you read this, then maybe you should consider a career in porn。

#1 – Men have a G-spot too

Men actually have a spot which, when stimulated, can induce pleasure in much the same way as the female G-spot. The irony of this is that to pleasure ourselves in this way we have to explore areas of our body that most straight men would prefer not to explore. For some reason, our prostate is the source of this pleasure and it happens to be buried deep in our dirtbox. If you want to explore the joy of rubbing this sacred spot, you need to insert one (or two if you’re feeling brave) fingers directly into your anus. I experienced this completely by accident one evening when an ex-girlfriend decided to surprise me with an impromptu anal probing. Needless to say, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing as a result. If you’re brave enough to try it, lube up. Trust me, it won’t be anywhere near as enjoyable going in dry.I had to learn all of this (and much, much more) through my own investigation and experimentation because my father only ever gave me two pieces of advice before I became sexually active:

1. Shag as many women as you can while you’re still young。

2. Don’t get her pregnant or bring home any infections。

你是如何了解到性的细节的?

也许你实在某个时间通过看20年前拍的蹩脚的性教育影片了解到性是不偏不倚有一定方法的过程。有些学校的课内教学这样精妙地来解释性，你60多岁的老师把安全套套在就像黄色的(略弯曲的)阴茎的香蕉上。这场景少得可怜的想法足以让你保持单身并终将使你走进一个的修道院度完余生。其他人了解性是被骗进入剧院在休息时的失误播放。不管您是什么样的故事，它有可能是你和爸爸有时谈论过的话题。谈到性很不舒服，特别是当一个父亲面对他的十几岁的儿子的时候。您的父亲的性教育等谈话通常包括下列几项：

戴避孕套

要尊重女孩子

不要催她

把自己留给属于你的女孩子。

当然，我们为这些做的准备并不能面对正确但残酷的性遭遇的现实。父辈们错过了在我们追求性时给我们启迪。基于这个想法，我现在告诉你，你的爸爸从未透l露的10个性爱秘密(但本该透露的)。

第10:性恋物癖

我真希望父亲在我开始有性行为之前告诉我恋物癖是什么。当有女人第一次问我对"Formicophilia"(蚂蚁式的酥痒)有没有兴趣，时我还以为她在对我讲意大利语。原来，她喜欢让昆虫在她的生殖器上爬动并且她希望和我分享这一愉快经验。很明显一个通常的性恋物癖种类从香草到平常的一些怪东西。我不介意一点刺痛或者，或者被拍，但在我推荐了蟑螂后就和她划清了界限。确定你在性爱之前知道一些关于恋物癖的事情，因为没有人愿意完事后发现他女朋友有恋物癖。

第9:这不是黄色电影

你可以想象我有多么吃惊，这些年注视着珍娜詹姆森在很多家伙中间上上下下兴奋的尖叫，我终于把我的童贞给了一个长着雀斑的脸，带眼镜和牙套的害羞的小红毛丫头。我原以为性就是充满不停尖叫，肮脏的高潮和肮脏的对话。不仅如此，我还以为即兴的性爱是看上去无辜的情况。如果在等朋友下班的时候，他的母亲叫我喝茶， 我想她会随时跳到我身上。哎，这从未发生过。至于红毛丫头，这不像一个急速行车而更像轻快的走路。性爱完全不像色情电影。(除非你正巧约会的是一个色情明星)。

第8：你自己的节奏

就像锤我经历的色情电影里的撞击幻觉一样，我想那事像锤子钳子样基本能够持续很长时间。那些色情明星能持续很长时间，所以，我一想到和害羞的红毛丫头仅仅坚持了2分钟，然后翻身下来睡着了，我就觉到失望得不行。我敢肯定，龟兔赛跑和性是一码事，如果你从来没有听过乌龟和兔子的故事。女人想要一个能持续一段时间的种马，虽然有时候很快完事也让人高兴，但没人希望还没开始就结束了。

第7：头痛不是不做爱的借口

在我21岁时，我以前固定的女朋友告诉我，她因为头痛对房事有点没心情。新的证据表明，女性高潮时会释放一种内啡肽(天然止痛药)。这意味着性爱是治疗头痛的药。我会去尽量利用这一点和你有或多或少的毛病的女朋友做爱。一条受伤的腿?性爱会缓解你的疼痛，宝贝儿。你的(性感的)朋友心碎了?我会给她一个高潮让她感觉好一些。生殖器疱疹?呃.。.你自己也会有，亲爱的。

第6：三P不如想象中普遍

色情剧集和“真干”的演员们在Maxim和FHM里让我想到三P是平常的并且时常发生。我在失去那些请求加入我们的美乳女孩儿们的同时，我也开始失去了信念。有人说“Ménage á trois” 是句法语，意思是：在你的梦中。尽管我敢肯定很多人都三P过(或以上的女人)，但可悲的是，那个第三个人通常是我们男人，而不是女人。

第5：阳痿是个离婚的理由

超过20个美国的州，阳痿都能被作为婚姻破裂的理由而离婚。我敢肯定，少数不重视“前戏”富裕的商人们，现在正为他们自己的短视而感到悲哀。不是每一次男人都有足够的能力去取悦他们的女人达到高潮。现在，我们的压力与日俱增，如果我们不行就要给妻子好脸色，应为她可以申诉离婚。如果你以前没有患上PD，你现在可要好好干!我觉得应该有另外一个引证女性离婚的原因，因为她们没有必要的性爱技巧，以满足男人。相信我，我曾遇到过几个。

第4：大多数女人需要对阴蒂的刺激才能达到高潮

什么?我的父亲从没说过。而且我从来都没发现，这些年来我一直的表现和填充火鸡一样而我从不晓得。很多人甚至想都没想过她在性爱中的喜悦，因为太容易失去掌控。从女性的角度来看，这是说的通的。进，出，进，出，进，出。是的，时间一长，就显得单调了。关键是要充分运用你的手指，舌尖，还有任何你认为可以用的身体的器官。一个最好的方法就是用后入式(狗趴式)的姿势。今天就尝试研究一下吧。

第3：你的阴茎可能爆炸

我曾看过关于整个性灾难事件的电视记录片，那改永远改变了我看待性爱的方式。我记得是有一个罗马尼亚男子和他的18岁的性感女朋友.。如果你曾经感到勃起就像要爆炸一样，想一下这个家伙的感受。他勃起是如此坚硬有力以至于阴茎里面的海绵体充血竟然爆炸了。我能听到读到这里时男人疯狂地大叫“哇～～” 但这你不需要担心。这是没人告诉我这么普通但知道我经历后才知道的。该死的"BANJO弦"。如果你不明白BANJO弦是什么，其实就是阴茎和包皮中间的那个这被正式命名为“海绵体”的组织。如果你做过环切，恭喜你，你也许就没有“BANJO弦”。如果没有做过，这里能了解到，粗暴的性行为很容易折断这点皮肤 导致血淋淋的伤害。会流很多很多的血。

第2：只有1/400的男人可以自己口交

只有1/400的男人拥有这种大小或者灵活性为自己口交这并不值得大惊小怪。真正令人感到尴尬的是，尽管不是全部，但他们中的大多数都曾尝试过给自己口交。男人造出了车轮，飞往月球，发明了电力，学会了飞行，但他们仍想在浴室里吮吸自己，这真的是一记打在脸上的耳光。如果你看到这里沾沾自喜，那么，你也许该考虑投身色情事业。

第1：男人也有G点

男人的G点其实和女人差不多，在刺激的时，会感到兴奋。讽刺的是，很多正直的男人不愿尝试探索这个能取悦自己的区域。如果你想要探索这个带来快乐的神秘点，你需要用一根(或者2根，如果你觉得你很勇敢) 直接插入你的肛门。我在一个晚上意外的经历过这一切，一个前女友决定给我一个惊喜，随后深入肛门。顺带提一句，结果就是我有过这种复杂的感受。如果你足够勇敢，润滑一下。相信我，干涩的时候不会有任何享受。我说了解的关于这个的全部是通过我自己的调查和实验的，因为我老爸只在我变得性活跃前给过我以下两个建议：

趁你年轻，多认识几个女人

不要让她怀孕，也不要带回家一些传染病